And Then There Was One
I am now on my own. I have a six bedroomed house all to myself. This is both good and bad. It's good to be free to do what I like, not have to worry about the kitchen being in a mess, or if I've been beaten to using the oven at around 6pm, or what to watch on telly. I've not had this kind of freedom for a while.
But extreme freedom is a lonely business. The last of my housemates went home yesterday, and so begins what will probably be two weeks without any contact from friends, apart from tap tap tapping out messages to them on MSN. This could get a little lonely.
I used to like the night. When I lived at home, I went through phases of staying up till extremely late, even if I had school or college the next day. 1am was minimal. 2am likely. 3am very possible. And I had to be up at 6/7am normally in order to get to school on time as I lived very far away. Night was second nature to me. It was calm and peaceful, and I got the vast majority of my work done then. It was a great help to me in fact, as I found it difficult to concentrate during the day because of my brothers and sister.
But I realised last night, being in this big house all on my own, living in a reasonably rough area, that night was no longer my friend. On my way off to bed, I switched off all the lights behind me, and the house was plunged into darkness. It's old, it's creaky and odd noises appear from places. In that kind of silence, your ears adjust to listening for the tiniest noises and making them into the biggest deals. It took me about half an hour to get to sleep, much longer than normal.
So now I've made it to morning. I've got out the other end OK, just as I thought I would, and just as I have every other night here for the past six months. It's funny how growing older you begin to take more notice of issues like security. When I was at home, I had no worries... my family were there to protect me.
Now no one is here to protect me. Without that security, the night is no longer my friend. At least the daylight is getting longer at the moment...
On more positive news, I have finished the first of my three essays. I'm happy with that, but I now need to press on. Time to start on the second...
But extreme freedom is a lonely business. The last of my housemates went home yesterday, and so begins what will probably be two weeks without any contact from friends, apart from tap tap tapping out messages to them on MSN. This could get a little lonely.
I used to like the night. When I lived at home, I went through phases of staying up till extremely late, even if I had school or college the next day. 1am was minimal. 2am likely. 3am very possible. And I had to be up at 6/7am normally in order to get to school on time as I lived very far away. Night was second nature to me. It was calm and peaceful, and I got the vast majority of my work done then. It was a great help to me in fact, as I found it difficult to concentrate during the day because of my brothers and sister.
But I realised last night, being in this big house all on my own, living in a reasonably rough area, that night was no longer my friend. On my way off to bed, I switched off all the lights behind me, and the house was plunged into darkness. It's old, it's creaky and odd noises appear from places. In that kind of silence, your ears adjust to listening for the tiniest noises and making them into the biggest deals. It took me about half an hour to get to sleep, much longer than normal.
So now I've made it to morning. I've got out the other end OK, just as I thought I would, and just as I have every other night here for the past six months. It's funny how growing older you begin to take more notice of issues like security. When I was at home, I had no worries... my family were there to protect me.
Now no one is here to protect me. Without that security, the night is no longer my friend. At least the daylight is getting longer at the moment...
On more positive news, I have finished the first of my three essays. I'm happy with that, but I now need to press on. Time to start on the second...
posted by Matt at
10:19 am
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