Who Wears Long Shorts?
It is intriguing how it is not possible for a man to wear anything other than a shirt and trousers if he wants to look smart. Of course, I'm not particularly bothered about looking smart, as I don't have to wear anything formal for work. Yet, the few male teachers in the school have no choice but to wear formal clothes, even in sweltering temperatures like the past couple of days. Yet, the female teachers can and do wear much lighter clothes, t-shirts, shorts, skirts, and yet they can still look smart.
So today, I decided it was just too hot to carry on wearing the long jeans I had originally put on in the morning. When I got home at lunch time from school, I put on shorts for the first time in many years. Well, at least in the UK. I wore shorts in the USA last year, but I normally either don't have to, or refuse to, wear shorts here. I just don't like shorts. I'm getting conservative in my old age, you see.
So I returned to "school"/work in the afternoon, not entirely convinced that I didn't look more of a fool than normal. It seemed to be OK. The breeze passing across my legs was mildly pleasant, and it made me think I should wear shorts more often. I hasten to add that these were only 3/4 length denim shorts. You didn't think I'd be that bold, did you?
I was then sent on a fruitless pursuit of the legendary laminator machine. There are just two machines in the whole school, and they are always in high demand, so it requires skill and cunning to secure the goods. On a very unusual visit to the upstairs of the school earlier in the day, I noticed that it was in a Year 5 classroom, and so I steathily snuck upstairs...
It wasn't there. So I asked one of the teachers if they had seen the delightful device, and the response was negative. As I turned away, the teacher, who organises all the work experience and placements in the school, said my name, and so I turned back around, executing a neat 360...
"I know you're only here voluntarily..." came the voice. My mind ticked: is this a request to ask me to work more? Then I twigged... it's work experience week this week for a local secondary school. I'd already had very little to do all day because there were many extra helpers on "work experience" today. I was going to be asked if I'd like to take the week off because they want to give the work to those who "need" it more. I could handle that. She continued...
... "but, what with the work experience people here at the moment..." ... Yeah, I'm right. Here comes seven days of sitting in the house all day...
... "I need you to wear smart clothes. We aren't allowed to wear denim, or shorts. The work experience people have been asked to come in as if they are going to work, and you're ruining it if you don't wear smart clothes too."
Now I was annoyed. I protested...
"I've only just put these on. I was wearing long jeans this morning and I thought I'd put some jeans on this afternoon because it's so hot. Besides, I don't have any other clothes but jeans."
And then, I apologised. For no reason at all, and despite the fact that I had done nothing wrong because I didn't know otherwise, and I'd been wearing jeans for weeks, ever since I started. And still, I apologised. It bugs me why I always seem to apologise for things when I have done nothing wrong, and worse, the other person wouldn't even be expecting an apology because they know themselves that I'm not to blame for anything. Then I apologised again. Why?!
She was "generous" enough to let me wear jeans (and I don't mean blue jeans... I wear reasonably smart, darker jeans) because I don't have anything else. So then I was grateful for her being "merciful". Worst of all, there was no laminator anywhere upstairs. So if I hadn't imagined it up there, I would never have gone up, and so would never have bumped into this teacher, and so would never have been in this stupid situation. Chances are I would never have worn shorts again to school, mainly because I don't have more than one pair, and it would have gone into my dirty washing pile and wouldn't have been available to wear for more than a week.
Oh, cruel fate, why do you mock me?
So today, I decided it was just too hot to carry on wearing the long jeans I had originally put on in the morning. When I got home at lunch time from school, I put on shorts for the first time in many years. Well, at least in the UK. I wore shorts in the USA last year, but I normally either don't have to, or refuse to, wear shorts here. I just don't like shorts. I'm getting conservative in my old age, you see.
So I returned to "school"/work in the afternoon, not entirely convinced that I didn't look more of a fool than normal. It seemed to be OK. The breeze passing across my legs was mildly pleasant, and it made me think I should wear shorts more often. I hasten to add that these were only 3/4 length denim shorts. You didn't think I'd be that bold, did you?
I was then sent on a fruitless pursuit of the legendary laminator machine. There are just two machines in the whole school, and they are always in high demand, so it requires skill and cunning to secure the goods. On a very unusual visit to the upstairs of the school earlier in the day, I noticed that it was in a Year 5 classroom, and so I steathily snuck upstairs...
It wasn't there. So I asked one of the teachers if they had seen the delightful device, and the response was negative. As I turned away, the teacher, who organises all the work experience and placements in the school, said my name, and so I turned back around, executing a neat 360...
"I know you're only here voluntarily..." came the voice. My mind ticked: is this a request to ask me to work more? Then I twigged... it's work experience week this week for a local secondary school. I'd already had very little to do all day because there were many extra helpers on "work experience" today. I was going to be asked if I'd like to take the week off because they want to give the work to those who "need" it more. I could handle that. She continued...
... "but, what with the work experience people here at the moment..." ... Yeah, I'm right. Here comes seven days of sitting in the house all day...
... "I need you to wear smart clothes. We aren't allowed to wear denim, or shorts. The work experience people have been asked to come in as if they are going to work, and you're ruining it if you don't wear smart clothes too."
Now I was annoyed. I protested...
"I've only just put these on. I was wearing long jeans this morning and I thought I'd put some jeans on this afternoon because it's so hot. Besides, I don't have any other clothes but jeans."
And then, I apologised. For no reason at all, and despite the fact that I had done nothing wrong because I didn't know otherwise, and I'd been wearing jeans for weeks, ever since I started. And still, I apologised. It bugs me why I always seem to apologise for things when I have done nothing wrong, and worse, the other person wouldn't even be expecting an apology because they know themselves that I'm not to blame for anything. Then I apologised again. Why?!
She was "generous" enough to let me wear jeans (and I don't mean blue jeans... I wear reasonably smart, darker jeans) because I don't have anything else. So then I was grateful for her being "merciful". Worst of all, there was no laminator anywhere upstairs. So if I hadn't imagined it up there, I would never have gone up, and so would never have bumped into this teacher, and so would never have been in this stupid situation. Chances are I would never have worn shorts again to school, mainly because I don't have more than one pair, and it would have gone into my dirty washing pile and wouldn't have been available to wear for more than a week.
Oh, cruel fate, why do you mock me?
posted by Matt at
5:29 pm
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