A Grown Up Now. In Theory.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Status Check

It only seems like five minutes ago since I got back to my real home but it was in fact a week ago. It's really strange. It doesn't feel like that much has been going on to me but nevertheless the time has flown by, so much so that my thoughts are already beginning to turn to life back in Hull. Urgh.

Though I will restrain that Urgh, because I know that when I get back I know I have no more than 11 more weeks left to spend in that place. Everything is going to come to a head fairly rapidly. Though it doesn't necessarily mean I'll have enormous amounts of work to do. I have one essay to write in four weeks, no problem, and then it's just a case of two exams to deal with and all their accompanying revision. Exams are never easy, and I think I need to revise harder than ever for them, but with a bit of luck we might get a hint as to what topics to revise...

So it's nice to know the end is close. In effect, there really is just one final push to finish this bloody thing off. I can't wait.

Back here at home there is much planning to be done. My parents have said that because this house is too full, and with me going to live with them for the next year (at least! bloody house prices) they are going to invest in getting the loft converted into a new room for me. While this is cool it does make me feel guilty. They're going to spend a hell of a lot of money on me at a time when money is tight. But I kind of get the feeling from my mum and dad that they don't want any of us to leave. They know we're all getting older now, my youngest sibling is 13, and in 10 years time none of us will be here. But at the same time they seem to be clinging on for dear life to preserve the family integrity. That's not to say they would stop anyone leaving (after all, my elder sister moved out almost 8 years ago), but they seem to be want to cling to their youthful connections.

It's all a big change from years ago. The home-owning culture of Britain is dying on its arse courtesy of massive house prices. My generation is growing up taking longer than ever to leave home for good. I'm concerned I could be here for a while longer yet. At the very least until I have a job and can afford to either rent or meet a mortgage payment of many hundreds of pounds a month. Add in all the other costs of living and it's not an encouraging equation. It's no wonder times are changing. The odd thing is that it might end up bringing families and societies back together at a time when there is all talk of the destruction of both of these things. Perhaps the market is going to provide the solution after all!! Now that would be the ultimate of ironies.

We're entering into a great period of uncertainty in the world. I genuinely don't know whether my plans for life are going to be a disaster. Am I heading into a profession that is overworked, underpaid and with too many people already in it? The answer to all three is probably yes. But it still seems like the right thing to do at this moment in time. If I didn't have this I would have no focus to my life and no idea where I'm headed. I think I could do without that.

In the meantime though, I still have two weeks rest to enjoy. Right now my focus has to be on the short term rather than the long. There's a hell of a lot I can achieve over the next few months, and I need to make sure I do it - otherwise it might make any plans for the long term completely irrelevant.

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